U Not Gonna Like This

I've really been lax as of late (thanks to real life taking front and center stage) So I'm posting one more item for today.

Stephen Baskerville blog:

http://stephenbaskerville.blogspot.com

Here's something I've been meaning to post for some time now. It's a rant from the "Nice Guy" (link) from 2002. In this rant he goes off on American women and thier hell-a-bad attitudes.

I suppose it is with some sadness that I will announce now that I cannot
continue posting frequent updates to my web page. But if something really major
happens, I'll post an update... but it will by no means be the roughly
twice-monthly tempo that I'd been doing in the past.



Can I call it quits? Probably not, because I don't consider my experiment to be
over. In fact, I don't know when I can ever say that my experiment will be
conclusively over. In fact, can I ever get to a point where I can call the Grand
Experiment a success? I just don't know. Life itself can be considered an
experiment. Life is short. In fact, it is too short to not enjoy it. Now, I am
enjoying life more than I have in years. That's been the point all along.



The results of my social experiment will always be different for different
people; I can only represent myself. And I can't even feel safe drawing any
concrete conclusions yet. If ever. But I need to revisit the questions I posted
in the original proposal written in February, 2002 just to understand how far I
have come. Here are the issues I originally stated:



"I'm out to determine whether or not guys can be nice and still get the girl at
the end."



"Can nice guys finish first? Am I a slave to whatever women dictate in the
dating arena? Can I date based on mutually-favorable terms, instead of on terms
that are obviously tilted heavily in favor of the female? Can I avoid the
spike-bottomed pits that American women have set for us guys to walk-into? Are
Japanese women any different? Will women in Japan treat me any differently? Will
they insist that I follow a set of female-written rules that are clearly
self-serving double-standards? Will Japanese women not return decency for
decency and kindness for kindness? Do Japanese women not proudly wear a badge
marked 'bitch'? Will they not offer to help pay on dates? Will they be attracted
to someone who tries to be... nice?"



I don't know if I can answer any of these questions conclusively, but I'll say
one thing: I ADORE the women here, and I love the dating scene here. The
increase in terms of both quantity and quality of romantic possibilities that I
have been confronted with over the past few months has been so dramatic, it
boggles the mind. Surely, that is indicative of something going right.



So Darling, Let Me Know... Will I Stay or Will I Go?



And about now, it is time for me to think about whether I will renew my work
contract for next year. I've been putting a lot of thought into it, and I've
decided that I am going to stay here another year. At least. That's right. I'm
not planning on coming back to the U.S. at any time in the medium-term future. I
think I'll be here for the long-haul. I've met a couple of foreigners in Japan
who originally planned to come here for a year- but ended-up staying for ten.

Ten years from now, I could very well be like them.

There are a lot of positive things about living in Japan. My job is going fairly
well. I absolutely adore living among the women here. Violent crime is rare. The
food is excellent. The streets are clean and the public transport is convenient.

The currency is stable (knock on wood). Sure, it's an often-quirky society (like
America), prices are high and the economy isn't growing much, but you can't have
everything. And (this one really takes the cake) Japan even has something called
a 'national health care system'. (Pshaw once more!) So... I think I'll be
staying here for a long, long time indeed. Yuppers, things are generally going
fine and dandy for me. I see no reason to disrupt this fortuitous and oddly
satisfying life I am now living. Darn tootin'.

And furthermore, I have embarked on a promising relationship with Haruna. (A
mutually-beneficial relationship? The legends be true!) And I've done it by
being nice (her words, not mine). Wiser from my past experiences with women, I
have been very critically examining Haruna to see the flaws that pervade
American chicks. And I think that so far, she measures-up quite a bit better...
but I will continue to stay vigilant with a strict zero-tolerance policy towards
female bullshit.

So far, our dating arrangements seem very fair- it isn't a situation where I
have to plan all the dates and buy her all the presents and pay for everything.
She actually holds-up her half when it comes to splitting the bill and planning
dates. Hell, she has even given me more presents than I've given her. She
deserves to be called wonderfully low-maintenance. She doesn't get offended if I
want a bit of time on my own once in a while, and she actually knows how to
disagree with me without going ballistic. And most important of all-- unlike
every single solitary goddamn American chick that I have ever met in my life,
Haruna knows there is a big difference between making a legitimate criticism and
launching into pissy barrages of nonstop moaning complaints over inconsequential
trivialities! (Oh, and one more thing-- she doesn't spaz-out into trembling
conniption-fits if the toilet-seat isn't down. Somebody clone this woman NOW!)

But, dating Haruna also might not be such a securely done deal as I'm making it
out to be. In future, it might turn-out that Haruna actually isn't the one. Who
knows? Maybe six months down the road, she might get tired of me? Or maybe I'll
get tired of her? No one can know. All I know is, I like her and she likes me.

And I haven't had to behave differently or wear different clothes or change
anything about myself- I've attracted her by being myself, dammit. She likes
being with me, and I did it by being me. Now, the trick is to see how the
relationship pans-out. Will we both continue to find happiness together? Only
time can tell. That really is the whole point of any relationship, isn't it?
Enriching each others' lives, helping each other reach our goals. Not by trying
to conquer, subdue and screw-over the other by playing personal power games...
Naturally, I can't say with certainty that Haruna and I will live happily ever
after... in a college literature course several years back, my classmates and I
once had a great discussion about 'happily ever after' endings and whether or
not they are realistically feasible. What we concluded was that there is no such
thing as a real-life 'happily ever after.' Everyone has bad days every now and
then as they are part of the human condition. The best you can hope for is make
every day count and manage the rocky times as best as possible. If life was
easy, then it wouldn't last a lifetime... but yet, a lifetime is still too short
to not enjoy every moment. So, that's what I aim to do. Enjoy every facet of
life to its fullest- having an adoring, smart, sexy, fun woman on your arm sure
helps.



And if Haruna turns-out to not be the woman for me, I am not terribly worried.
For I could start meeting prospective others in under a week.

And I will tell you another thing-- my time in Japan has made another important
difference in my life: it has caused me to rediscover my ability to feel
affection towards women. Only this time, I believe I am among the right women to
show affection towards. For the most part, I believe I am among women who are
worthy of my affection. In the first six months here, I have discovered women
who do return kindness and respect when it is given. Women who do not feel that
they have the right to abuse me just because they've had a pissy day. Women who
greet me smiling instead of glowering. Women who do not act as if I am
intrinsically worthless because I am male or who feel that I'm merely a source
of free entertainment who should compete for the privilege of basking in her
grandeur. I'm actually pretty happy with the women around me nowadays. So far,
my dating experiences in Japan have been overwhelmingly good. No, not every
woman has fallen head-over-heels for me... but I have to say that the dating
etiquette here seems very fair. The woman pays half the bill. She'll actually
treat me as if I matter half a damn. These girls want to be around me-- why else
would they keep contacting me? And they act like actual Ladies as opposed to a
pack of ignoramus, dissolute, chainsaw-voiced jackals.

The American chick's infamously militant and gleeful antirational 'female-first'
animus just doesn't seem to infect the average Japanese woman's mind, as far as
I can see. This is something that would make them a light-year more attractive
to nearly any rational male. I have read one social commentator mention that in
Japan, the women's movement embraced the incredibly reasonable idea that one
should improve oneself before one can change society. Furthermore the shrill,
American-style 'women-good/men-bad' feminism just hasn't gotten a foothold. I
can see actual wisdom as opposed to irrational bigotry and man-bashing.
Many of the women here are very special and very wonderful. As a result, I think
they deserve to be treated and cherished in a special and wonderful way. I aim
to treat Haruna with the same sort of affection and kindness that she would give
me. Make her feel special. Show her that I care.


My relationship experiences over the past nine or so years have been like a
recurring two-act play with different actresses for each iteration. I find
American women who poison my life, but come-across non-American women who renew it in a special way. Surely that can not be by random chance? I don't think it
is... if it is a pattern, then I also have the ability to break it.


As for me being a loser who will never be attractive to women, well... I always
knew that wasn't true. According to the women I've met here, I'm actually fairly
attractive. I'm actually fun to be with. I'm actually sexy. I'm actually an
awesome guy who is great boyfriend material. And you know what? This isn't a big
discovery for me, because I always knew that I was totally all of those
things!!! I have been an attractive, fun, awesome, sexy guy for years!! I always
knew that I was!!! It was the prejudiced, royally fucked-up American sows who
kept their arms folded and blithely insisted that I wasn't.
Jeez they were ridiculous creatures, weren't they? And deep down, I think I
always knew they were, too...

Do You Ever Get The Odd Impression That American Chicks Just Aren't Worth It
Nowadays? That Might Be True, Friend. It Just Might...

(Forgive the intellectual wanking that I've written from here-on forward...)

Maybe I'll come back to the U.S. someday. But to paraphrase Jim Goad, I started
to become cynical when oinking, belching slabs of American female swineflesh
insisted that I was the pig.

Yes, American women have had (and might yet still have) a few golden decades to
frolic within. For quite a while now, they've gotten it both ways: holding-onto
their female-only privileges while demanding equality of outcome for more 'male'
things. And, in the meantime, males can be shoved-away, abused, jailed,
mistreated, belittled, humiliated, alienated, disempowered,
discriminated-against and generally shat-upon the whole time. Oh what good fun!


But sorry darlings, that mode of behavior can't last much longer.
Perhaps the day will come when I will move back to the land of my birth. But I
don't see any compelling reason to do so any time soon. Of course, you hope the
American male populace cannot and will not be taken-advantage of for very long.
That the tide cannot help but begin to change, and maybe American males will
finally act upon the realization that they need to insist upon a better way of
living. A way different from the one which is currently being pushed-forward by
their ignorant, small-minded, bigoted and degenerative womenfolk.

Yes, American women are a troupe of slatternly, soulless hyenas who, if given
the chance, would happily gnaw-out your eyeballs. They do little but absorb your
attention, demand that you spend money on them, and hiss at you for your
maleness. They volunteer absolutely nothing except for an armada of lies. Their
desires are of ultimate importance at all times; the effects on you are not an
issue. They have quality advertising, yet they still remain inferior goods. Do I
ever miss their bone-deep nastiness, their putrefied dispositions and their
short fuses? Not a speck! I, for one, declare that I have had enough of their
slop, dammit. But as someone who is actually quite fond of America, I find the
chicks over there to be downright embarassing. But I don't think it is true that
they will always necessarily have to be that way forever...

Maybe one day, American women will forsake Oprah and read more actual books...
as opposed to their current crop of coming-of-age family melodramas featuring
the obligatory abusive, alcoholic father?

Maybe they might divest themselves of the notion that if a man treats her with
respect, then he is a doe-eyed pansy of a wallflower who only deserves to be
kicked in the nads?

Maybe American women might stop thinking of men as nothing more than walking ATM machines and human punching-bags?

Per chance they could reject the notion that they should find pleasure in being
a seething pit-bull death squad of desultory jackbooted bigots?

Perhaps one day they will dump the idea that if you are not incredibly
indignantly angry about something, then you are not a true woman?

And how long will it be before they deplete their supply of trivial things to
complain about? Or run-out of hollow ploys with which to play victim?

How much more bullshit they can spew before more people start tuning them-out
completely? Let me give you an example: when I entered college I was exposed to
all the in-your-face hype about how many trillions of women get raped per year,
and how us horrible rapist men need to control ourselves. Rape, rape, rape,
rape, rape, rape, blah, blah, blah, blah... they really over-did it. The endless victimhood proclamations only served to cheapen the message and eventually DE-sensitized me to rape almost entirely. When any commercial gets over-played, the normal reaction is to groan inwardly and roll your eyes when you see it the millionth time. The message got repeated to the point where it wore-thin and lost all meaning. The word 'rape' evokes almost no emotion in me- I just don't care how many American chicks get raped and I wonder if a big number of them just lie about it because they want something to complain about. (link) (link) (link) Yeah, I know that's a bad thing for me to admit- but it's also what happens when someone
cries 'wolf' too many times. (And consider this: American men are accused of
rape at a rate over 230 times greater than Japanese men(!) The key word here is
'accused', not all men accused of rape are guilty. American chicks are massive,
massive liars and are apex abusers of the rules that protect them- it is simply
astonishing!)

But I digress- things do change in society sometimes. (Twenty years ago, who'd
have thought that the word 'feminist' would one day be increasingly synonymous
with 'jackass'?) But naturally, I cannot expect American women to do all the
changing. A task as important as self-improvement cannot be expected from beings who are so incredibly self-absorbed, crude and obtuse as they. Nay, American men need to do their part by knuckling-down on these chicks quite a bit more...

I mean, the idea that a female's bullshit is harmless is not confirmed by a lack
of male opposition. Yet women assume that because there is a lack of opposition,
then their bullshit must be perfectly okay. But it makes exactly as much sense
to say that since slavery lasted so long in America without massive-scale
slave-revolts, then slavery could not have been so bad for blacks!

Because a system of power cannot legitimize itself, the abuses of power wrought
by a woman's bullshit can never be considered legitimate simply because the
woman exists. But since a woman thinks that no opposition makes it okay for her
to be a bullshitter, then you have to start putting your foot down. In the words
of Matthew Fitzgerald, you have to "stop paying for pussy. Now." It's the only
way. Troops, stop putting-up with female bullshit. The instant her
self-absorption starts to rub you the wrong way, then that is where you draw the
damn line!


Yes, a female's ability to ruin your life through her bullshit has a lack of
legitimacy to it, but it's often hard to articulate the nature of its
illegitimacy. How can you expect to press charges against a group that insists
on its utter blamelessness? Indeed, the practice of questioning the legitimacy
of a woman's power is tantamount to questioning the legitimacy behind your own
mother and the power she wielded over you.


Or to borrow an idea from David Hume, the only way women can gain control over
your thinking is through your Opinion. Once your Opinion of them falls, then
they fall. If dominant social norms favor the well-being of women at the expense
of men, then women do not need to have an army of soldiers beating men into
fealty. Indeed, we will decide to do that on our own (just to show women how
'manly' we can be, men can and will beat other men to pulp). Only through
Opinion have so many men been fooled into thinking that female-defined
'equality' is the same thing as dictionary-defined 'equality'.

And another major reason why so many males have acquiesced to female bullshit is
the following: if acquiescence to a woman's demands seems to contain ultimate
happiness and you do not know where to look for an alternate source of ultimate
happiness, then there is little else to do but sit back and try to make the most
of it... or grin and bear it, whichever. As for being the source of ultimate
happiness, women love to make us believe that they are this important to us.
Since no voices other than those favoring women are ever given serious
consideration by society, how could anyone know that there are alternate
viewpoints or alternate sources of happiness? The smart way to keep males
obedient through Opinion is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable
possibilities open to their lives. So that is why we need to start considering
newer and better possibilities for how we should live with women.

So troops- in the meantime, we all gotta start knuckling-down on these chicks-
NOW! Give 'em hell! Refuse to bow before their insanity. Go ahead, point-out
their idiocy and rub their smug little faces in it. Don't be polite about it,
dammit- they don't listen to polite requests for niceness. Stop respecting them,
too... the only thing they will respect is disrespect. No matter how fair you
try to be, she'll never do the same. Do not beg for greater understanding from
them- because you won't get any! In any argument, they'll automatically accuse
you of sexism strictly to gain the upper-hand. And don't bother with using
logical, reasoned statements, either- women believe that logical reasoning is
just a parlor trick that was invented to help men win arguments. So you have to
be damned nasty and crude to them, or else they won't take notice. Maybe crack a
few female egos here and there. Whoops, sorry- was that your angry, puffed-up
head? Let's let some air outta there, bitch. That's the ticket.

So maybe more American men will decide to not settle for chicks who angrily
pound their tiny fists and demand "me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now"
on infinite loop?

Perhaps American men will discard the idea that being feminine excuses a woman
for being a disrespectful little prostitute who pretends that she isn't fucking
you for the money you spend on her?

Maybe American men will one day tire of a disastrously lopsided divorce system
which chews-up ex-husbands like raw jerky? And perhaps even more men will be
boycotting marriage until this gets fixed?

Maybe one day, American men will get tired of the fact that their blood and
treasure is continually being spilled in the name of appeasing the Goddess
Femininity? Maybe they will grow tired of being given small sexual rewards in
return for being exploited?

And maybe, just maybe... one day, males will recognize themselves for what they
really are: sharers of leftovers in a society which happily shoves them aside to
give a woman first dibs on any advantage which is doled-out?

And maybe they will finally say 'enough is enough'?

Take me, for instance- there was once a time in the past when I used to adore
American chicks. (I was even dumb enough to believe their characters had some
form of inherently good sensibility!) But today, I've seen there is so much more
to gain by totally ridding my life of them! I'll probably have a longer life and
more successful marriage now that I've exempted them from consideration. There
was a time when I would've loved to have had an American chick as a girlfriend--
but today I'd love to see their heavyset faces all horribly and mercilessly
pulverized beneath the screeching treads of a T-55 tank... after torture, of
course. They've unnecessarily turned me into their sworn enemy. Such a dramatic
change in attitude isn't easy to provoke in anybody, I don't think.
I dunno- the whole American female 'I can do whatever I want' attitude has
gotten out of hand. It's starting to become a situation where an American chick
can say 'If I crush you with my SUV, its your own damn fault. If you don't like
how I drive, then stay-off the fugging sidewalk.' Meanwhile, society stands-by
watching her careen-around the road. Their heads shake and tongues cluck; they
wring their hands furtively moaning: 'Oh, dear- she must be so oppressed!'

Yes, something has clearly knocked the brains outta their American female heads.
Their man-hating is not merely spontaneous eruptions of long-buried female
sentiment, but has been systematically provoked and encouraged. Provoked by a
cultural system which assures American females that they are one step below
angels. Encouraged by a legal system which grants them super-rights commensurate with the almost-divine status that they insist they deserve. And David Hume's idea of control through Opinion is further influenced by the fact that western society uses language and law to legitimize unfairness towards males in a way which makes us feel we shouldn't deserve any better. Socially and
legally-sanctioned bias is what western males face. It's a tough situation we're
in, troops. But we do deserve better, dammit.

But take heart: something has to give; modern western women are just too
ridiculous to survive in their present state. Any act of critical effort to see
through their mask of bullshit enrages them like you wouldn't believe. Whenever
you point-out their contradictions, they snap-into fang-bearing attack mode and
demand that you go to hell for saying so. And the instant you score a point
against them, they yell 'foul'. That sort of situation seems ultimately doomed
to fizzle-out. Maybe it can't last much longer? Maybe the day will come very
soon when the scales will tip in the other direction? That all the manipulation
and falsely hyped misandry will no longer outweigh the mounting piles of proof
that all is not what it seems? Perhaps the real Backlash has yet to reveal
itself...

Any group which hyperventilates at the thought of accountability is sure askin'
for it...


The way I see it, if more guys end-up like me, then American chicks will
actually lose something quite significant... not that they'll ever realize it
before it's too late. They will lose quite a lot: lose our support, our respect,
our trust, our patience, our attraction, our acceptance... and our tolerance. If
cases like mine get multiplied two or three million times, then who are the real
losers in that situation? Certainly not those of us who end-up building loving
relationships with deserving foreign women.

Like it or not, globalization is here to stay. Wandering tribes and cultural
syncretism is nothing new. The world grows smaller, more mixed and more
interconnected each day. Borders keep becoming more porous. People, goods and
ideas whiz-around the planet ever-faster and ever-cheaper. As if in proof of
this, mixed-race children are among the fastest-growing demographics in the
world. Yes, some form of massive, competitive, systematic culling is certainly
in the works...

Yup, maybe many of these American chicks are a tad slow to wake-up to the fact
that they are increasingly competing in a global marketplace of human
relationships? And I'm sorry to say that this is a competition that they are
going to find themselves ever more hard-pressed to win... they are slowly
starting to become the 1973 Buick gas-guzzling clunkers that nobody will buy.
The 1974 Buicks still looked like the 1973 Buicks... and Detroit tried its
damndest to persuade people to 'buy American', not that it helped much.

Car-buyers began to notice: hey, those imports sure have good gas-mileage, don't
they? And they're low-maintenance, too...

Maybe some American chicks already realize that they carry the seeds of their
own downfall? Perhaps on some level, they are aware of the threat posed by
uncorrupted foreign women? Naturally, there will always be a little thread of
indignation running-through their minds when confronted with quality that
they can't possibly compete with.

(What, you dare forsake us?!) If a man talks to a crowd about how much better the women are in the rest of the world, you can always bet that a pack of offended broads will always hop-up from the cheap-seat section to yell 'booo!'

Little do American chicks seem to realize that they cannot leverage their
sexuality and their gender indefinitely- one day, they will turn-into dried-up
old hags and discover that their stock has plummeted. Oh sure, they might sulk over how they squandered their influence over men- but they will still insist that it wasn't their fault. And many of them aren't far-sighted enough to realize although their beloved man-bashing might make them feel good in the short-run, it's building-up a helluva lot of bad karma in the meantime. What goes-around comes-around.

American chicks ain't the only game on the planet, troops. Never forget that.
Oh, but women don't need to bother with actual facts when they want to be right.

Although a few women back home do seem to realize that a Backlash is steadily
building, they are still loathe to dump their own sexism and the fond perks it
delivers them. Of course, male resentment can't help but build. That sort of
resentment does tend to exist whenever somebody squishes her foot-down on
somebody else's neck for a long period of time...

When reflecting on the current social situation for women in America, I am
reminded of an Indian monkey trap I have seen. It is a jar with an opening big
enough for a monkey to slip-in its hand and grab-at the rice inside. With a
fistful of rice, however, its hand can no longer be pulled-out of the narrow
opening. The monkey's hand gets stuck in the trap because it will refuse to
let-go of the rice. Such is the case with American women-- until they let-go of
their satisfying bigotry and the illegitimate rewards of the legally-ratified
double-standards they insist-upon, they are trapped in a cycle of needlessly
turning ever-more men into enemies.

I shouldn't be surprised about the level of corruption among American chicks-
having absolute power tends to do that. Or perhaps I could be wrong about power
corrupting? The historian Robert A. Caro once wrote that power doesn't corrupt-
it merely reveals what had been festering there all along. But any way you slice
it, the lack of legitimacy and predictability which accompanies the creeping of
female power has shortcomings to it insofar that it does not always confer good
emotions to men who actually feel it. In the modern age, more and more men are
experiencing just that- feeling an inherent lack of legitimacy and
predictability in the invisible, unaccountable (and sometimes highly damaging)
power that women wield over us. It is quite infuriating, to say the least-
mainly because so many women like to insist that this power does not even exist.

So males will continue to be infuriated by it. It's not just going to magically
go away, and women won't voluntarily rid themselves of it.

Women could not enjoy such a cushy life without the obedience and loyalty of
those males who would keep their little existences afloat. In coming years, we
may be in a race for the mobilization of male discontent.

But the monkey-trap analogy yet makes me wonder: maybe American women really can't wake-up to what's wrong with them? (meaning they are not self-aware enough to understand Maybe they actually can't be bothered with seeing the harm of the rampant gender-favoritism and hypocrisy that they insist on perpetuating? Maybe they will unwittingly continue along the path to self-destruction? Maybe they will insist on wandering-down the road of becoming a yet more loathsome, cocky, combative, shallow and despicable coven of nauseating rat-bags? Will they ever realize they might be wrong about anything?

Nay, they'll always cook-up some ad hoc rationalization to make their past
bigotry and idiocy look somehow correct in the present. No matter how many privileges she gains, a woman will only complain about the areas of life in which she suffers a deficit and use this as 'proof' to herself and the world that she is somehow at a grand disadvantage.

So the shit-storm looks like it'll get quite a bit worse before it gets any
better. Maybe staying out of the shit (storm) is still the best choice for me...
Since I'm generous, I'll leave American chicks their own continent where they
can be free to hoot, cheer and jump-around with pompoms every time they see a
man getting punched in the groin. I'll give American chicks enough lebensraum to
putter-around on the bile of their prejudices. Enough area to screech whatever
sneering, misandristic drabble that rolls-off their forked little tongues. I'll
give them enough room to cackle-around on their broomsticks if they'll stop
stinking-up the air I breathe. If they stay the hell-out of my path, I'll
grudgingly recognize their right to exist-- if only to watch them continue to
make fools of themselves. Oh how I loved it when the fuming little darlings
would write me by frantically pounding-out an email with a hammer... informing
me in the most irate, venomous, mouth-foaming tones that I am the one with the
attitude problem. (Tee-hee!)

Regardless, I adore the women here on Planet Japan. That's right, I adore them.
And I will continue adoring them for a long time to come. I know I can build a
great future with one of them, even if it isn't Haruna. I will be the world's
best boyfriend, dammit. And one day I might even become the world's best
husband, too. Just you wait.

Maybe one day, I'll come back to America. And maybe one day, American chicks
will not suck quite so much.

Yes, that'll be the day, won't it?

To all my readers: thank you for (mostly) respecting what I have to say. I
sincerely wish that all of you folks find happiness with women who deserve your
affection and who treat you as well as you would treat them.

But in the meantime, troops-- when dealing with most North American chicks it's
You against Them, baby. Because that's how they seem to want it. But immunize
yourself to their bullshit and you'll rank among the freest men on the planet.

Best of luck to you all.

---End of Rant-----------

I have decided to repost comments from one of the regular visitors to MarkyMark's blog (link) a visitor by the name of Ruddyturnstone. He is commenting about a repost of Mirror of the Soul's (link) "The Men Have Left The Buliding" (link):

ruddyturnstone said...

Yep. Men have left the building. More and more of them are figuring out, at a younger and younger age, that, without a wife or cohabiting GF and/or kids to support, they can live happy, healthy productive lives. And can do it without killing themselves at a job they don't like.

Under the old regime, marriage was still probably a better deal for women than it was for men. But it did offer men some benefits, enough to make the cost/benefit case for it at least pluasible. Men got regular access to sex, and, at the beginning, at least, sex with an attractive, young, virginal (or nearly so) woman. Men got hot, home cooked meals.

Clothes washed. House cleaned. Emotional support. Status as head of the household. Children to bond with securely. And so on. Sure, men had to give up their sexual freedom. They had to be the breadwinners.

They had to do all of the "outside" work (cutting the grass, maintaining the car, etc.). They had to be "the strong one." But there was some notion of balance.

Now?

In marriage, men still have to, in 9 times out of 10, be the real breadwinners. But because the wife has some bullshit "job" that pays less than half of what he makes and probably costs more (in clothes, shoes, transportation, etc) than it is worth, he is now expected to do "his half" of the cooking, cleaning, clotheswashing, etc. And still do all of the "outside" work too. He is no longer the head of the household (but he still has to be "the strong one" emotionally).

No, now they are "equal partners," which, in practice, means he does what she says or she cuts off the sex. Married women used to have to have a reason for not having sex with their husband. That's what all those old jokes about wives' "headaches" were about. Now, wives feel they have every right to refuse their husband sex, with no reason at all necessary.

And women have no problem refusing their husbaned emotional support, although they demand even more of if from them than ever. Men do have stronger relationships with their children now. And that's a good thing. But, that relationship depends entirely on the woman not divorcing him.

And that takes us to the divorce issue. Back in the day, divorce was akin to social death. Now, it is no big deal. Women divorce their husbands for any old reason or none at all. But still get the house and car that his wages bought, plus a "settlement," alimony, attorney's fees, and so on. And she gets the kids too.

If he's lucky, he'll get to keep some fragment of his relationship with them. And, of course, the honor of paying Child Support until they graduate from college, if not even longer.

The only upside for men in all of this is that marriage is no longer required of them. Time was, a single man was considered to be kind of a joke. Even now, the feminists (for all of their fake claims about women not needing men) try to belittle single men ("Peter Pan," "mama's boy," "can't get (or can't handle) a liberated modern woman," etc.).

But companies and other employers no longer care if a man is single, married or divorced. Or has kids or not. And that opens the door to let men out of the building. Men don't need to work themselves to death to support a family.

A single man can live incredibly cheaply, if he so desires. For all the talk about women being more "spiritual" and men needing their "toys," the truth is that many single guys are happy living in a one room apartment, or with their parents, or out of a van or RV.

Single guys have no problem living in a closet sized bedroom with 2 or 3 other guys, splitting fixed costs and thereby driving them way down. It's women who "need" to live in stand alone house. It's women who "need" new furniture all the time.

Who "heed" to have a perfectly fine kitchen or bathroom remodeled. Not men.

And, without so many material needs, a man is free to work as much or as little (almost) as he likes. A single man can tell a boss to go eff (screw) himself. He can take the summer off and go surfing. Or work for a couple of years, save up some dough and then follow his dream to go to Alaska or Asia or make a movie or work on an invention or whatever. He doesn't need to go college or grad school to get the credentials needed to get the steady job that pays the big bucks necessary to support a women and children.

All along, the system had been set up to cater to women. It is mostly women who have the stronger desire to reproduce. Men have only the stronger desire to have sex. Society's interests are more or less the same as women's. For a society to flourish, men have to do the work to support women and children. That gets the work done, and it ensures the perpetuation of the society.

But women wrecked this system in the name of their own, "spurious" freedom. Sure, womena are now "free" to be sexually promiscuous and to live by themselves and to have careers. But, in reality, this is not what most women want, not in the long run anyway. They WANT to be wives and SAHMS. But now they can't, because the deal has been made too one sided. A married woman now has it made. She has all the upsides that her mother or grandmother had, and none of the downsides.

Only problem is, a married man now has a totally shit deal: all of the downsides his father or grandfather had, and none of the upsides. So, men are eshewing marriage. And when the law equates co habitation with marriage, men eschew that too.

Thus, if one only looks around, one sees ever more desperate attempts on the part of women to get married. Books, magazines, TV shows, movies, aimed at women, are all about how to "hook" a man. Or are BS meant to reassure them that there are plenty of men "out there" who want to marry them. Anything produced by women and aimed at men is nothing but propaganda telling them that they "should" marry. They won't be happy unless they do.

They won't "really" be a man (although, as liberated persons, it is somehow perfectly OK for a woman to "choose" to be single) unless they marry. If they don't marry, they are immature, or weak, or cowardly, or selfish, or chauvanists, or it must be because they "can't" get a woman, or are gay, and so on.

But men are no longer listening. They have left the building and are going their own way. If women, and the society they now run, want them back, they are going to have change their behavior and the legal and societal norms they have promulgated.

If not, the whole thing might just go down the chute, and they will be the ones to blame. As for dalrock and whoever else doubts it, all of the statistics show that a greater percentage of adult women are now "unmarried," (single, divorce, widowed) than ever before. Or at least since reliable statistics have been kept.

This is true in the US and the UK, and I suspect, throughout the Western world. Historically, it was a bit of an anomaly that such a large percentage of men and women were married as were in the halcyon days of British, American, and Western societies generally. When those societies were at their strongest and most successful, marriage was the norm for men and women of all social classes except the very poorest.

And for all races even in heterogeneous societies like the US (including African Americans).

Marriage, with SAHMs, was the ideal. The US and the UK boasted that even blue collar, lower middle class families consisted of wage earning men, children, and women who stayed at home and watched them and kept house.

This was the high water mark of modern, Western society.


Not some ahistorical, timeless norm that will automatically replicate itself indefinitely if the behavioral, social and legal infrastructure to support it is withdrawn. As it has been withdrawn now.....

08 November, 2010 08:39

also in the comments section:

ronaldglassford said...

Great posts all. Ruddyturnstone, your assessments are really on the money.

Excellent summary of the reasons why marriage has lost its luster for contemporary men. At least the "old regime" flawed as it was, provided some stability and security for men...now, it seems to offer nothing of value at all.

As a friend of mind, describing another institution, stated, "They're offering a product that nobody wants"...not men, anyway.

I saw the tendency in our family when I was very young. Once the men married, you did not see them for 30 years. They were soon ground down into earning machines, supposedly "excited" by trips to the mall and the installation of new countertops. No wonder they fled to fantasy magazines, sports and drinking as the only escape from their mental incarceration.

The stifling of the creative spirit in men through the marital system is obvious to anyone who looks with an objective eye. Of course, we have been conditioned to think otherwise.

Esther Vilar outlined the whole problem in the 70s...men want to belong to something greater than themselves...the old system provided this. Now, you will be deserted and given the bill anyway.

This is such a massive disconnect that it has to lead to a major shift. As your post shows, it is already in evidence, yet our media and popular culture refuses to admit to it.

PS: Ruddy's post was broken into 4 parts since blogger no longer allows for long comments. I combined them all into this one post.