I've stolen yet another post. This time from Dump Your Wife Now who gives some good insight on understanding the minds of western women.
The key to understanding modern American women is to realize that, starting from a very early age, basically from about the time they start learning to talk, every event and experience in their lives takes on a very powerful emotional subtext. This is not to imply, of course, that men’s lives do not have emotional subtexts. It is merely to state that, for women, the emotional subtext of everyday events and experiences is often much more powerful than it is for men. For a woman, nearly everything that happens in her life, including things that most men would consider to be trivial or mundane, is heavily freighted with significant emotional meaning.
There are many important consequences to this, but for men, there are certain key implications that are very important to understand. One of these is that women are always “right”. By the time they reach early adulthood, at about the age of 25 or so, women develop a very strong sense of moral rectitude. They are certain they know what is good and bad, and what is true and false, because the feelings they have in their hearts and guts tell them so, and their feelings are always genuine, always valid, and always accurate, even if those feelings change 180 degrees from one moment to the next. When a woman “changes her mind”, she’s not really changing her mind. What really happened is that her feelings changed. And no matter how many times her feelings change, whatever she’s feeling right now, at this moment, is always “right”, because her feelings are always valid.
Now, part of this is our fault as men, because, when we’re young, we’re so overpowered by how beautiful so many of them are, and even when they’re not particularly beautiful, we’re still so eager for their approval and for their affection and for sex, that we’re generally willing to agree with just about anything they say and go along with just about anything they want, no matter how silly or trivial or just plain idiotic it might be. So of course it should come as no surprise that most women begin to develop a very strong sense of moral rectitude. But, of course, it’s not really our behavior towards them that’s the main culprit here…women are this way intrinsically.
Another key consequence is that, by the time they’ve reached early adulthood, most women have developed a very elaborate system of rules for how people are supposed to behave. And a woman considers these rules to be “obvious”, because they are based on her own personal emotional subtext, which she considers to be the ultimate validator of all that is right and wrong: “of course” you’re supposed to do “this”, “of course” you’re not supposed to do “that”. And because these rules of conduct are so self-evident, anyone, as far as she’s concerned, (and especially anyone who claims to know her or care about her at all), should just intrinsically understand what these rules are…no explanation should be necessary. Anyone who doesn’t just implicitly understand these rules is either a fool or a jerk.
A woman will always listen to her feelings, before and after she will listen to anything else (and also usually while she is listening to anything else). This means that, in order to get along well with a woman, a man must also constantly be listening to her feelings, and anticipating his behavior accordingly. In effect, women become emotional tyrants in relationships: everything in her life, and, by extension, in the life of anyone involved with her, ultimately ends up being ruled by whatever she happens to be feeling, whatever she thinks is right, and whatever she happens to want, from one moment to the next.
My favorite story about this relates to a radio program with a segment in which the host likes to go out into the audience to meet people, and find out simple things about them, like where they are from and how long they’ve been married, just to try to get to know them a little bit. On meeting a couple who’d been married for 50 years, the host stated that, whenever he met such a couple, he always liked to ask them what they considered to be the secret of a good marriage. When asking one particular couple this question, the woman (of course) was the first to speak up, insisting that it was a matter of “having similar interests and tastes, always discussing everything, everything always being shared and everything always being equal, etc. etc. Finally, after a couple of minutes, the woman piped down just long enough for the host to turn to the husband and say, “And what about you, Herb, what do you consider to be the secret of a good marriage?”, to which the husband instantly replied, “Oh, that’s simple, just do whatever she wants.”
It’s also important to remember that, no matter how far you may have risen from wherever you started out in life, no matter hard you may have had to work your ass off to get where you are, no matter how much discouragement you faced, no matter how many obstacles you had to overcome along the way, and no matter how successful you may be, no matter how much you may have accomplished, and no matter how self-sufficient you are, chances are that just about any American woman you meet these days will still consider herself to be a more thoughtful, more considerate, more conscientious, just plain better person than you are. And this will probably still be true, even if major portions of her life have just been a total train wreck.
And she will demonstrate this to you on a daily basis, by providing you with a constant stream of unsolicited questions and commentary about everything you do and how you do it, all based on her very powerful sense of moral rectitude.
What all of this adds up to is that, if you’re an average looking guy, and you’re willing to:
1. Live your life based pretty much entirely on whatever some woman happens to be feeling, right now at this moment, and,
2. You’re not too particular about what those women look like, and,
3. You’re the kind of person who would rather live that way than be single,
Then you’ll probably have no trouble at all finding a wife (and in fact you’ll probably end up being happier than you would be if you were single).
But if you’re not willing to make all three of those compromises, you’ll probably have a pretty hard time finding a date, let alone a steady companion. And if you’re like me, and you’d actually rather be single than make any of those compromises, but, unlike me, you go ahead and make those compromises anyway, you’ll probably end up being miserable. And you’ll deserve it. And there are millions of men who live their lives just like that every day.
Of course, if you’re really handsome, and especially if you’re handsome and have plenty of disposable income, then all of that just goes right out the window. You can behave pretty much any way you want, and women will basically just keep coming after you no matter what. And if you don’t believe that, just look at how many women write letters to Scott Peterson in jail begging to f*ck him.
And of course, you can never really have an honest discussion about these things with a woman, because if you attempt to raise this particular topic with her, her preferred mode of discussion will be to wait for you to assert something, and then proceed to tell you, at exceedingly great length, all about why you are wrong. This is why women insist that men will never understand them. They prefer having us believe that we can never figure them out, because it allows them to constantly rule our lives without ever being accountable for anything. The only way to get along with them is to just go along with whatever they want.
So my advice to men in their twenties is, date as many women as you can, f*ck as many women as you can, but don’t ever let one of them insult you or walk all over you, even one time. And for God’s sake, don’t marry one, at least until you’re into your thirties and women have started to lose some of that charm and sexual power that they have over us when we’re younger. Hopefully by the time you’re around 33 or so, you’ll start to realize that you’re actually better off staying single.
Written by dataguy: Don’t Get Married Forum
