U Not Gonna Like This

This article was found at No Marriage.com:

Men commit to staying single
By Adele Horin
June 27 2002

Not only are men averse to the idea of commitment, they can think of at least 10 good reasons to stay single.

A new study from the United States has identified the main barriers to men tying the knot.

Heading the list is their ability to get sex without marriage more easily than in the past. The second is that they can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather than marrying.

The study, called "Why Men Won't Commit: Exploring Young Men's Attitudes about Sex, Dating and Marriage", was researched by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University in New Jersey. It was based on focus groups with 60 unmarried heterosexual men aged 25 to 33, and is part of an annual report on the social health of marriage in America.

Released today, the report found that men were not against marriage itself.
They just were not in a hurry to get to the altar.

The report lends weight to remarks by Ross Cameron, the parliamentary secretary to the Minister for Family and Community Services, who last month chided Australian men, blaming Australia's looming fertility crisis on men's commitment phobia. "The principal reason young women say they don't get around to having children is they can't find a bloke they like who is willing to commit," he said. "This commitment aversion in the Australian male is a real problem."

A survey commissioned by Relationships Australia in 1998 found "fear of divorce and all that goes with it" topped the list of nine possible reasons for delaying marriage in Australia.

But the telephone survey of 1400 randomly selected people was not confined to eligible bachelors. It asked respondents why people would not get married in future.

Avoidance of commitment, fear of making a mistake, and bad previous experience were the next on the list.

The head of Relationships Australia, Anne Hollonds, said women also seemed less willing to commit. "We have raised a generation of young women who are less focused on having children and that lessens their commitment to partnering permanently."

She said society did not particularly encourage marriage; at the same time it encouraged people to focus on individual goals. "First comes the mortgage, then marriage comes if people decide to have children."

Top 10 reasons not to marry

1. Men can get sex without marriage.

2. They can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather than marrying.

3. They want to avoid divorce and its financial risks.

4. They want to wait until they are older to have children.

5. They fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises.

6. They are still waiting for the perfect soul mate, and she hasn't appeared yet.

7. They face few social pressures today to marry.

8. They are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children.

9. They want to own a house before they get a wife.

10. They want to enjoy single life for as long as they possibly can.