The Female Rules
I found this posted on usenet a while back, but lost both the printed and archived copy. So I decided to "google" the female rules and guess what.... [I found 'em.]
This is what you're in for if you decide to date a woman. (Good luck chump.)
The Female Rules
The FEMALE always makes the rules.
The RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notification...by the FEMALE.
No MALE can possibly know all the RULES.
If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all the RULES, she must immediately change some or all of them.
The FEMALE is never wrong.
If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.
The MALE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstandings.
The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.
The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE.
The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.
The FEMALE must, under no circumstances, let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
The Male is expected to "mind read" at all times.
The MALE who doesn't abide by THE RULES; can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp!
Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.
The FEMALE is ready when SHE is ready.
The MALE must be ready at ALL times
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