U Not Gonna Like This

Is what's being discussed in this post from JJ's Garage:




Dr. Laura Berman is a sex therapist from the Chicago area and I've read many of her columns. She is the quintessential apologist for all women's vices and faults, and can usually be found dripping with a bleeding heart for the women's side of the story when it comes to gender issues and gender politics. While I know she will not admit it, if one reads enough of her columns, she displays the usual "men are naturally evil and women are naturally good" mentality.




Today's column is a perfect example of what I'm talking about:




Did suburb wife join trend, run from bad union?




She writes about Anu Solanki, the young married woman of Indian descent who faked her abduction to escape her marriage. I wrote about various stories similar to this one last week, and how there seems to be a trend among women to lie their way out of irresponsible and destructive behavior.



Dr. Berman gives a different opinion on why Mrs. Solanki ran away. She implies it was due to an abusive marriage:



Despite her husband's assertions to the police that their marriage was happy, it seems Solanki felt differently. Like many women in similar situations, she ran away. While her reasons for discontent are still a mystery, women often choose to run from an abusive marriage rather than face their partners' wrath. This is understandable, as statistics show that the most dangerous point of an abusive relationship is when a woman tries to leave.



Dr. Berman is entitled to her opinion as to why SOME women run away, but to imply Mrs. Solanski fled due to abuse is completely false. According to the Associated Press, Mrs. Solanki never claimed abuse as an issue for her escape. The AP reported:



Anu Solanki told authorities she never meant for people to think she'd drowned and simply wanted a clean break from her husband. She said she was not a victim of abuse, but regretted the marriage. She also apologized.



And according to the IndiaPost, a news organization that tracks news related to India and its people throughout the world,



There were no serious problems between them excepting a few squabbles that happen practically in all marriages, he said. Even Anu is believed to have confirmed Dignesh's version to the authorities stating that he was neither abusive nor cruel to her. She just wanted a break from the marriage as she was not feeling happy.



The Chicago Sun-Times, the same newspaper in which Dr. Berman appears (does she read the newspaper she writes for?), reported in an interview with the husband:


A day before she vanished, his wife told him she wanted to have a baby, he said. He now thinks it was a ruse to convince him nothing was wrong between them, he said.



For Dr. Berman to imply that Anu Solanki and other women predominatley fake their dissappearances due to abuse is immoral and unethical. Where is her research to back up this claim?



Why didn't Dr. Berman mention that Mrs. Solanski stated abuse was not an issue? That would have been the responsible thing to do.



Her assumption results in another unjustified attack on a good man. Mr. Solanki is now assumed in the public court of opinion to be a domestic abuser.




Dr. Berman displays she is the typical female apologist I've known her to be, and by doing so, tries to diminish the irresponsible behavior of Mrs. Solanki and women in similar situations.
She tries to manipulate the public opinion by generating a misappropriated feeling a sympathy for these women rather than responsibility, while at the same time generating suspicion and contempt for men.




But is there really a "trend" of women leaving relationships due to abuse and other issues. In her writing she lays heavy on the accusations that MEN, religion, and societal pressures are the components responsible for this "recent trend" in women's behavior.



Really?



Her are some of the most recent headlines concerning women who have lied to their families, husbands, and communities:




Pregnant attorney admits kidnap tale was a lie



Butler Girl Admits Kidnapping Story Was Fake



Rape claim was cover for cheating on husband, charges allege



Woman who cried 'rape' may have to pay back county



Woman faked her own kidnapping: police




None of these situations concerned abuse, or other issues except bad decsions by the women themselves. So there really is no "trend" of abused women having to fake abductions in order to leave their husbands and families. It is just merely women taking an irresponsible approach towards towards trying to solve various problems in their lives.



But because Dr. Berman is a female apologist, she doesn't like to see women treated like adults (Re: Men) and have to take responsibility for their actions. Instead she chooses to enable them so that women never really learn how to maturely analyze and resolve serious issues in their lives. Dr. Berman's method assures that this behavior will happen again, and assures "trends" will develop because there are no consequences for those who women who engage in this behavior - only safety, compassion, and protection. She also helps place a bigger burden of suspicion and distrust on the men in these situations through the implication that women who fake their abductions are looking to escape abusive relationships.




My point: I feel most female sex therapist harbor sexist beliefs and attitudes towards men. As a man, I would be critical to accept their interpretation of situations and research. If you find some of their information useful, God bless you. But I think you will find, as I do, that most of them have only female interest at heart. They could care less about the well-being of men.
I think Dr. Berman makes that very clear.



Did suburb wife join trend, run from bad union?


Illinois Man Surprised Wife Ran Off


Mystery solved; Anu had eloped


'I completely trusted her'





J. Soltys