U Not Gonna Like This

When the controversy around an article written by editor Michael Noer entitled "Don't Marry Career Women" erupted, Forbes created a special forum so that readers could comment on the piece. One reader made these comments:


JWatkins


I'm in my mid thirties, have a decent career (I'm a physician), I've got a great house. I enjoy the company of good friends. I enjoy travelling and do so extensively, this summer I've visited no less than three countries. I'm also free to pursue my hobbies, which include photography and literature. I don't have a perfect life, but it could be a lot worse.



Thanks to "women's" sexual liberation, I can enter relationships with as many girls as I want half my age and not be accountable for them if we grow apart, or if they become too clingy or demanding. I don't "use" women, but equally I don't allow myself to be used by them.



All humans seek companionship, but not to the extent that doing so would go against one's instincts. And right now, marriage goes against every single one of my instincts. Having read the article, forwarded to me by a divorced friend of mine, I found myself nodding in agreement to sections of it, but finding it's rhetoric to be tame and missing the point. The article highlighted a lot of the other of my concerns, especially with regards to the average male's health and quality of life after a marriage. There are a few specific points that really put me off from marriage, here are some of them.



First there is the blatantly anti-male divorce and welfare laws that effectively provide financial incentive to women who divorce.



A divorcing woman who "gave up" her career to "support" me, would be given a sizeable chunk of my salary, and quite possibly the martial home. The argument would be as she had grown accustomed to a high standard of life, and it somehow remains my obligation to support her, even if I am no longer married to her.



Then there's the attitudes many women have. In my career work more than 70 hours a week, often including tiresome night shifts. I dislike the notion that modern women seem to uphold that I ought to come home to do "my share of the housework".



There's also the anti-male child laws. Men have no say whatsoever in regards to the lives of their children, any say they do have is subject to the position the mother holds the father in. If she dislikes him, she can instigate abuse claims against him, call him a liar, a rapist and discredit his character. A man missing a single child support payment is an imprisonable offense, whereas a mother depriving a father his legal and natural right to spend time with his child in custody arrangements is seen as trivial. Punishing the mother is of course out of the question,



All in all, I'm quite sick of the anti-male hysteria that is generated by the media and by government bodies. I'm told that intercourse with a female under the influence of alcohol is rape, that all men are shallow, weak and clumsy individuals that lack character and backbone - just look at any recent hollywood flick. Male characters seem to be defined by their relationships to women, whereas female characters are portrayed as strong, independent characters.



Many here may feel myself and men like me will succumb to marriage regardless of the anti-male bias in society, but think again. Marriage is an institution that supports and serves women to a much greater degree it supports men. A quick browse of any magazine rack will confirm this, women's magazines are generally orientated towards marriage and relationships, where as men's magazines covering women are about pornography and sex.



Put simple, men are primarily motivated into marriage by sex, and women by relationship. Thanks to the feminist sexual liberation, men no longer need to seek marriage for sex, premartial sex and prostitution are no longer considered taboo.



Anyway, this is the way I live my life, and until I see a dramatic overhaul in the way both government and society views men, I wouldn't touch marriage with a bargepole. I just sincerely hope other men aren't fooled into this sham of an institution known as marriage and wise up until we see a shift in attitudes.



Three of my friends already have been unfortunte enough to marry, two are already divorced and the marriage of the third is already on the rocks. That in itself is enough to discourage me to marry.